The Note #5 – A Case for Sarah Bradley – Fiction

Welcome to “The Note – A Case for Sarah Bradley” serial, to catch up on the story so far click the links below:

The Note #1 – A Case for Sarah Bradley – Fiction.

The Note #2 – A Case for Sarah Bradley – Fiction

The Note #3 – A Case for Sarah Bradley – Fiction

The Note #4 – A Case for Sarah Bradley – Fiction

I have never written in the detective/mystery genre before so just having a bit of a dabble. I hope people enjoy. Any feedback greatly appreciated. KL


Sarah finally managed to get her sobbing under control. Jeff had walked around her car and climbed into the passenger seat. It made her a little nervous to be this close to him, his green eyes looked straight at her concern filled yet they still seemed to possess that mischievous glint that she adored. She looked away, trying to focus.

“I’m s…sorry Jeff. My little brother Danny’s in trouble.” She shuffled uncomfortably in the chair then looked back towards him.

“What do you mean in trouble Sarah? What kind of trouble?” He put his hand gently on top of hers. She took a big sigh and held the sob inside her that was desperately trying to escape again. Her lip trembled and her eyes glistened.

“That’s the thing, I don’t even know. Nothing is making sense. I’ve got to find him.” She turned the key in the ignition, silent tears now flooded her face.

“Sarah stop.” He leaned over her and turned the ignition back off. “You know I can’t let you leave don’t you? You can’t even see to drive, can you?” He shook his head, his hair swaying as he did it. “Look get yourself cleaned up, come into my car and we’ll see what we can do, okay?”

Sarah nodded and leaning over him opened the drawer of the glovebox. She stopped as she realised she was inches from his face. She smiled as much as she could muster, fighting back a wave of emotions.

“Sorry, I should have waited ‘til you got out. It’s a little tight isn’t it?” Sarah managed her voice now slightly husky from the crying.

Jeff lowered his head to reach the door handle but Sarah miss-reading the sign leaned in further closing her eyes she kissed him. Jeff realised her mistake and gently pushed her back.

“Sarah, no.” His low voice filled with concern. Finding the handle, he got out of the car. Before he closed the door, he turned back to face her. “Sarah, forget that happened. Come to my car and we’ll sort this. I’ll help you.”

Sarah nodded and watched Jeff retreat to his own car. How could she be so stupid? She had to focus on finding Danny.


This was originally written in response to Friday Fiction prompt brought to you by  ronovanwrites – Epic Fail prompt.

Ronovan also has a great post on GL & PSS to help improve your writing.
My stats for this post are: Word Count: 367 Words, GL: 3.1 and Passive: 0%

5 thoughts on “The Note #5 – A Case for Sarah Bradley – Fiction

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