Un-block Challenges, Writing Extracts

Driving against the rain

The rain was pounding against the windscreen. Danielle stared frantically ahead into the dark but the droplets were so large they skewed her vision. She had to keep going, she had to get to Emma. Each large droplet of the glistening rain seemed to represent another problem in her way, a driver going slow, a road closed sign, flooding across a road that forced Danielle to drive far slower than she wanted to. The wind had picked up, it was throwing itself against the car, but the sturdy Landover was no match for the gale. Mark had been right telling her to take his car. Although Danielle wondered as she glanced at Mark sitting in the passenger seat staring dead-pan ahead, if he regretted letting her drive. But she had to, she had to do all in her power to get to her daughter as quick as she could.

The rain kept coming and showed no sign of relief, Danielle desperately hoped Emma had found somewhere to hide, somewhere warm and dry. She couldn’t really believe Andrew would hurt Emma would he? Andrew loved her more than life itself, but Danielle knew in her heart something had snapped with Andrew. That edge of anger he had always managed to suppress and keep in check had suddenly bubbled to the surface. She felt her foot push harder on the pedal again. The windscreen wipers battled to keep the screen clear of rain, in the same way Danielle’s eyelashes struggled to stop the tears from falling. She had to get there on time.

driving rain


Note: – This is a little extract from a much larger first draft I am working on at the minute and I’d love to know people’s thoughts, can they feel the tension or does it need more? Does it keep you reading or drag on a bit? Any advice greatly appreciated. KL 🙂


8 thoughts on “Driving against the rain”

  1. I wanted to know so much more, from before and after this scene. One minor point — in the second paragraph, first sentence, I believe you meant “slowed” instead of “should.”

    1. Thank you for the wonderful comment Barb! And great eye, I have corrected it to showed, but I’m still unsure if the sentence reads correctly, maybe should be showing…I’ll mull on it. KL ❤

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