Time to smile

Daily Prompt – Trio no. 4

Your post must include a speeding car, a phone call, and a crisp, bright morning…

speeding

Image Courtesy of Google

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Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, “This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!” So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies — two in the front seat and three in the back – eyes wide and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, “Officer, I don’t understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?”

“Ma’am,” the officer replies, “You weren’t speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers.”

“Slower than the speed limit?” she asked. No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly… Twenty-Two miles an hour!” the old woman says a bit proudly. The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that “22” was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.

“But before I let you go, Ma’am, I have to ask… Is everyone in this car ok? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven’t muttered a single peep this whole time.” the officer asks.

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A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens to be her husband’s best friend. They had sex for hours, and afterwards, while they’re just laying there, the phone rings. Since it is the woman’s house, she picks up the receiver. Her lover looks over at her and listens, only hearing her side of the conversation… She is speaking in a cheery voice) “Hello? Oh, hi. I’m so glad that you called. Really? That’s wonderful. I am so happy for you. That sounds terrific. Great! Thanks. Okay. Bye.” She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, “Who was that?” “Oh” she replies, “that was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he’s having on his fishing trip with you.”

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One bright morning in the middle of the night two dead boys got up to fight
Back to back they faced each other drew their swords and shot each other
A deaf policeman heard this noise came and shot the two dead boys
If you don’t believe this lie is true ask the blind man he saw it too

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Smile – we’ve made it to hump day (the hump of the week!!) 🙂 🙂 🙂

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7 thoughts on “Time to smile

  1. I have heard the first one before, still funny. The second one had me chuckling. The third one I was very confused with until the last line, then was like.. ohhhhhh. (yes, I had the day off yesterday, so it feels like a Monday…again).

    • Thank you glad you liked them. I’m sure there is some more lines to the third (something my grandad used to recite) but that was all I could remember. 🙂

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